Remember me?

So it's been a while. In fact I haven't posted anything this year, not since November 2014.I have thought about it, but I've never quite got round to it or I haven't felt up to it. There's a few reasons why. First of all, I got fed up of it, not bored or anything but I guess my interest changed. I didn't quite know what I wanted to write about, I haven't found my niche. Also, I stopped reading blogs. I still watched vlogs, but I just stopped reading and so I sort of felt out of the loop and not quite with everything.
I'm just going to come out and say it. For the past couple of months I haven't felt myself and to be honest it's been really hard. I'm not saying it as some big sob story but it's something I wanted to get off my chest. I've always had pretty bad anxiety through life it's just the type of person I am but this year it's really got on top of me and made me not want to do anything. I've really pushed myself to still be myself, but it's just made me so miserable. In more recent weeks I haven't wanted to do anything. Anxiety through the roof, panic attacks and bad moods. It really hasn't been great. But I think more than anything I need to just get myself back into the things I used to enjoy, blogging being one of them.
Anxiety just made the little things a lot harder: going to lectures, assignments, working on weekends, weekly shopping, driving home. So anything extra just seemed to be really difficult, there was no way I could push myself more than I felt comfortable. In my head, my daily life had just seems to grow. Like everything that I had to do was a much bigger deal than before, and I found myself making myself worry because it felt normal. I had a very difficult relationship with the anxiety, but now I feel like I'm getting back on top of it.
To make me feel a bit more inspired I've decided to give this space a bit of re-vamp. I have a new interactive design which has taken me absolutely ages to install and personalise. It's still not quite done, but I'm incredibly proud of it so far (since I had to learn about all the codes and design graphic-y stuff myself) so I was too excited not to share it with you now! Eventually everything will look clearer and run a lot smoother, but for now this will do.
I'm not committing to this completely. I'm only going to post when I get time and when I feel like it. But I think trying to get some posts down might help me to distract myself. So, if there's any suggestions for posts I would love to hear them. What's your favourite thing to read on a blog? I personally love baking posts, organisation posts and short stories or poetry because I can be a bit of a nerd sometimes.
I really hope I can post some more soon, and I hope you will all enjoy reading them again.

Lots of Love,
Jess x



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